[That definitely gives him pause. He can see what John's getting at here, and it throws him off-- for a few moments he looks a little bewildered, and when it sinks in it brings a faint flush to his cheeks that he tries hard to ignore. Ryan hasn't missed that the guy's attractive, but- well. He never asks anything of them, and it extends to things like affection. He'll give it where it seems to be wanted, but his own desires have always stayed quiet. What if it's weird for them, what if they don't want to be tied to someone still alive?
John's not the only one who's good at wanting things he can't have, though in Ryan's case it's all his own doing. He doesn't know he couldn't have them, but he's too afraid to find out.
He decides to go for it eventually, taking a seat in the space John's left clear for him and giving him an almost hesitant look-- one that says all too clearly he isn't sure he'd been serious.]
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John's not the only one who's good at wanting things he can't have, though in Ryan's case it's all his own doing. He doesn't know he couldn't have them, but he's too afraid to find out.
He decides to go for it eventually, taking a seat in the space John's left clear for him and giving him an almost hesitant look-- one that says all too clearly he isn't sure he'd been serious.]