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OPEN PROMPT POST
(open prompt/meme post, primarily for Ryan but will provide other characters too! just note in the subject if you want someone else. drop a starter, a text message, an image prompt, something for me to write a starter from-- basically anything goes!)
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It's a thought Ryan tries to stifle, but it's true. He'd never really noticed that his mouth looks like it'd be really nice to kiss, not until John inadvertently drew attention to it... but his question pulls Ryan's focus away in a way he hadn't quite been able to do himself.
The attention doesn't stop, but it's slower, more intentionally soothing.]
I don't know.
[Apologetically, without really needing to add I'm sorry out loud.]
It's- not different for everyone, but there's different reasons. Some people want revenge on whoever, or whatever, killed them. Others have connections here that're strong enough to hold them back. They're just not done, somehow, that's... it's usually what it is.
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[What is it? Anger at Magneto for being such a disappointment, one for whom he threw his whole life away? Bobby, for inadvertently killing him instead of doing it the honest way? All the way back to his parents, for starting him down the bitter road that led to his death? He doesn't even know.
It's certainly not a connection to someone, unless -]
I never had a strong connection. [It's so strange how their conversations can do this, draw intimate things out of him because they just don't seem to matter anymore. No one other than Ryan knows that he still exists, so what power could they hold?] Not a two-way one.
[He's wondering if that's why he's so attuned to Ryan. If it wasn't a need for something that was, that had been, but something that never was.]
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[The hesitation never entirely left, it rarely does- but it's stronger at points, and this is one of them. Maybe it's too much of an assumption, too invasive.]
With what you've said, I mean. It sounds like-
[Ryan has to stop to take a calming breath there, because the reason they're here really is a big conclusion to draw about someone; even if it's obvious, putting it into words isn't always something they want to hear.]
It sounds like you never got to live the way you wanted. That everything kind of fell through, you weren't ever really happy with it, and- then you died early. Didn't get a chance to change that. [And then he moves on to a question, almost abruptly:] If you'd gotten to decide, would you have been ready to go? Or would you have decided to stay?
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There's a clear struggle with what Ryan's said, before he just decides to answer the question.]
I don't know what I'm staying for. [And his expression softens a bit here.] But it's not bad.
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...so long as you don't mind being here. Or- here, specifically. I kind of worry you're gonna get bored and leave.
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Well, yeah, I am bored. Being dead is boring. But what am I gonna do anywhere else? I'll still be dead. At least here I've got living company.
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[Another pause, biting his lip while he searches for the words he wants. That answer's still a little bit worrying-- if he really is bored, maybe he will want to go.]
You're not stuck here, is what I'm getting at.
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[His smile broadens, warms just a bit.]
I've never stayed anywhere I didn't want to be.
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...okay, point. I just don't-
[Don't want you to leave.
His fingers comb through John's hair once more, threading into it at the nape of his neck and resting there.]
You're the only one who really spends that much time with me.
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[He finally sits up again and turns to face Ryan, crouched on his haunches on the couch to lean in quite close.]
You don't get it. You're still alive. That's - not to trash any of my fellow ghosts out there, but that's different. You're alive and you can see me. [His turn to touch Ryan's hair, at last, toying with a curl near his temple.] You can touch me. I can touch you. I'm not just gonna give up on living people yet.
[Which makes it sound like it doesn't matter who John would've ended up with, and that's not totally true.]
And it worked out that you're actually cool, so yeah, I've got nowhere else I'm planning to go.
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John's touch makes him a little bolder; it's nice, having a bit of his hair played with, but he wants more now that he's finally getting the affectionate contact out of John that he's been craving since-- before they met, honestly. Ryan nudges into his hand, reaches up to pull it into place and encourage John to do more than just toy with that curl.]
...you're warm.
[It's one of those moments where his train of thought has skipped right ahead, leaving him backtracking.]
I mean... it's different with you too. You're-- you're still more alive than most, you know? You haven't let it touch you so much, it's... I forget it, sometimes. That you're not physically alive.
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Does it matter? [It doesn't take very much encouragement to push John into becoming very bold, and just knowing that Ryan wants his touch makes him push that much harder.] I know, I'm either gonna pass on someday or stick around and be nineteen forever, but right now. Does it matter?
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...no. It's never mattered.
[The answer's quiet, eyes opening up again just enough to look at him, little slivers of pale green visible beneath blond lashes.]
Never had a chance to matter before.
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Y'know I was nineteen and I died a virgin? [Another little kiss, just beneath Ryan's ear.] Pretty pathetic, right?
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No-- no it's not-- I.
[Ryan's having a bit of a hard time thinking straight, managing to string his words together coherently.]
Me too. Not... not the dying part, but...
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So John moves down Ryan's neck, deliberately avoiding his mouth just for now, just to draw this out as long as he can. See how intense the reactions will get.]
How old are you, Ryan? [It's absolutely a casual question and sounds like it. No intent to mock regardless of the answer.]
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I- I'm twenty-two?
[Distraction gives his voice that little uplift at the end, a good cue that his attention really is elsewhere. Ryan wants to kiss him so badly right now, to reach for his chin and tilt it up toward his own face, but he also wants to see where John is going with this. He's already got him close to squirming at the attention.
Ryan can't hold off from returning it somehow, though; he does reach for him, hands at his waist before he just wraps his arms around John like he's wanted to do since he rested his head on Ryan's lap.]
You are-- so distracting, you know that, right...
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[Alright, a bit of mocking, but just about that lilt in his voice. It's a little bit adorable, honestly.
When he reaches the collar of Ryan's shirt, he just drags his tongue back up to where he started, about to bite down on Ryan's earlobe when he's grabbed and pulled so close that he ends up in Ryan's lap pretty much out of necessity - anything else would twist one or both of their spines in unnatural ways.
So instead of that bite, he gets a huge, wolfish grin. Well well. Look where I've ended up.]
Sounds like we both have some catching up to do.
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Ryan doesn't answer aloud. They meet each other's eyes more easily like this, and his have always made him an open book; there's a little vulnerability left in his expression, but he looks at John like he just can't believe he's real, the need all too visible in wider pupils and flushed cheeks, a certain heat in that same look.
Then he finally leans in for what he's waited on, kissing John desperately with a whimper muffled against his mouth. They have catching up to do and he doesn't want to keep waiting.]
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Is he attractive, though? John didn't notice right away. Is this just the feeling of getting fond of him? Either way, he likes it. He likes that awe and passion coming through in Ryan's stare, overpowering the apprehension.
And he really likes the kiss, the way his mouth is being devoured before he has a chance to register being kissed at all. Pressing in closer to Ryan, one hand settling on the couch behind him while the other cups the back of his head, he licks at Ryan's lips, the inside of his mouth. There's no keeping teeth out of a kiss with him; before long he's nipping at Ryan's lower lip, sucking hard on it before breaking off to go back to that heated kiss.
There are differences, he thinks, from how kissing felt when he was alive. But this is also very different from any kiss he ever had when he was alive, so maybe that makes sense.]
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But it is. He feels lightheaded, light in nearly every way, and he's just following John's lead the best he can-- he's got no idea what to do with his tongue and it's fumbling but eager and it doesn't feel like it matters, because John is kissing him, because it feels good, Ryan has his arms wrapped around him and there's his hand holding the back of his head--
There's that nip, the way he sucks at Ryan's lip, making him gasp and press up against John in a way that's pure reflex, and oh god he needs to stop and breathe.
Their lips part and he leans back slightly, already panting to catch his breath and looking more than a little dazed. His glasses are askew, his face more thoroughly flushed, and for a few moments he doesn't even try to speak-- just runs his fingers through John's hair, along the side of his face, his neck, in constant needy little touches. Can't keep his hands off him, much as he needed the break from that intensity.]
...John. Oh my god.
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But his gentle, stroking touches turn the tables, more little hints of affection, and John's left with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly parted as he takes them in. Soft and sweet, far more foreign to him than kissing. He shivers a little when Ryan's long fingers reach his neck, squirming atop him, but doesn't let the slight shift in energy dampen his enjoyment of this quiet moment.]
That's nice. [His voice is a bit dreamy, faraway.] Hit you a bit too hard, huh. [Oh, and now his mouth is quirking up at one corner again.]
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No, no, not too hard...
[But his own voice is still breathy, also a little faraway, and after a moment Ryan concedes.]
Okay, a little, I wasn't... I didn't expect that. But it's-- god, that felt good, John.
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Oh yeah, I know kissing. Even homeless kids make out. Just - not a lot else. [His fingers are winding through the back of Ryan's hair now, endlessly fascinated by the texture of it. Some small bit of that might because of another head of curly hair he once wanted to touch, but not all of it.] Guess we'll be figuring out a lot together, won't we.
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[It's not the same insecure question it might have been earlier-- just a quiet thing, with a fond look. He likes the thought of it, along with the fingers threading through his hair, and that goes a long way toward calming him down.]
I'll try to keep up, promise. I read things. I'm not clueless.
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